New Semester, Old Photographs and Feelings of Nostalgia

Its time to put up a happy post.

Happy that things have been going well with the new semester. I am doing fine in my school work and my relationship with Yuen Yue. And occasionally, I have some time to play basketball with david and co.

Then again, today, I looked through the photos in my facebook that were generally put up by other friends - and have tagged me. It makes me happy to know that although there are some regrets (lying if I say none) until now ,the Lord has kept me safe and happy. He has blessed me with so many friends, great encouters with people and time spent in places I have never imagined of going.I am glad to say that at an age of 23 now, it good to look back once in a while and reflect. Maybe you can do that, if you can reading my blog right now to see if you are going alrite. Maybe you want to see if you would yourself to head in the same direction as you are doing now. Maybe you want to see if you are in-line with God.

I need to learn to accept things slowly

I just completed my papar today and I felt terrible after that. I see how other students are happy that they can pass the paper but I am sulking that I might lose my distinction this semester.

Why am I so concern about distinction when I know that I can become a good doctor in years to come after all? I think maybe its partly due to the fact that my parents give me a lot of hope and support and I feel very disgrace if I can't bring myself to the best.

Seriously, I think I did do my best, even Yuen Yue can tell you that. I put in all my effort and used up all the brain power. I even realised I am starting to lose myself into all the stress. Poor Yuen Yue has to keep encouraging me to calm me down. Shaojie and she keep saying that if I get so stressed up, I wouldn't be able to remember what I have studied.

I hope it not too late that I am starting to see the point that I have got to relax myself when I still have two more papers left. I remembered that I have so much information to write, but I am just not good at presenting them in paper. I think its really because I am too nervous and stressed.

Sometimes I feel really lonely here in Tassie when the amount of people and time i have to interact with is few. I drown myself into my books everyday, almost forgeting who I am, not to mention sometimes its very unfair to Yuen Yue that I don't spend a lot of time with her.

I looked at Alvin's blog the other time, it amused me alot. But it also allowed envy to set into me. I see how he manages his blog well with funny articles and amazing experiences of his life. I see how studying in Singapore keeps him together with his university and JC friends. And I see how my blog is full oh whining and dislikes. I think I have alot to improve. Not longer sad Jerry, not longer lose-myself-Jerry. I want to be a positive Jerry, a happy Jerry. I keep telling myself that I am not going to let my grades decide my mood, I haven been able to do so. I need to realise that the importance of getting that big smile and to keep a positive mindset.

I really hope next semester will be a happy semester. I don't want next semester to be like this semester.

Just to sidetrack. I want to talk abit about my church here in Tassie.

I have been attending the bible study here in Tassie for quite some time, it gives serious interpretation on the bible and how we have to get right with God. I think its good, but then again, I realised that I have become too skeptical with theologies that I am questioning too much. I realised that at the end of day, if you just keep at it, reading the bible, faith will bring you to understanding. If you try to understanding everything with your own effort, you will not be able to make it without God's help.

Stressed during exams

Feel so stressful...and demoralised.......

No time for so many things

I think I really have no time for so many things. Just looking at how long I took to enter my next post is evident enough.

Many people don't really understand a medical student life until they become one. That's one reason why the attrition rate for medical school is so high. Seriously, you might think its because they don't make the grade, but seriously. many really just opt out of the course. I find that the hardest question someone may ask you is why do you want to be a doctor. I mean, I have thousands of reason for that if you want me to impress the interviewer in an interview session. But honestly, like many occupation and courses, you wouldn't be able to know how it will be like, other than just being in it. I say, I take my chances just like anybody else. I see that this course looks good, why not give it a go. I believe many have this mindset as well and that their experiences influence a lot on their choices in life.

I think a lot of reasoning is also discovered while you are in it. And I think you need a strong reason to stay on. Sometimes I feel that in medicine, you see yourself trying to manage people's lifestyle but at the end of it, you will gradually lose control of your own life.

So much so for the negative comments, but I think I am still in the process of searching and growing.

Lectures Cancelled

Lectures have been cancelled a lot lately, seems that a lot of lecturer here in Utas are either ill often or just too busy.

Lily calculated that 1 lecture of mine would cause about 200 plus, which means I lost 500 dollars today.

Also, my poor little brother is in Army. Before that I have been anticipating that he grows up in the army, now I hope he is just okay surviving army. I hope its not too traumatising for him and that he starts to make new friends.

A lot of people think that I am confident and assured, but thats on the outside. I do not think I am like this. Sorry, not the regular 'Dr Ho' that you see on this blog, I think I am just a regular person who needs some space to dwell and store my worries.

I name this blog my-stride-on-earth with all the idea to document my life everyday after school. Seens that there are a lot of happening things in medical school. This comes especially when you start to listen and observe people.

First Post

I started this blog to start a recollection of things that I have experienced in Tassie.

Currently, I am finding it hard to study and that being a medical student makes it 100 times harder when there is so much memorising. I think I need a study partner.